I must be thinking about work too much. Last night I dreamed that I was in Target running down the aisles. They were way too narrow, and had way too many shelves. I went toward the door, but it was a dead end instead of an exit. I turned around and then, suddenly clothed in padawan robes drew my light-saber, Darth Vader came around the corner we both stabbed and then I cut off his head. I lay there with my hands clamped on my abdomen, happy. Then I woke up.

Where to start about this weekend. Well I guess you had to be the view in Georgia it was leaving the beach, and everywhere I miss my friends. Minnesota was so nice, because the fairly low humidity was enough that it wasn't dry, but not so much that it would be towed. She found out then that there was supposed to have been a barricade to prevent her from parking there so they could erect a memorial to the people that died at the final four game last season, but someone had moved it. While this was not terrible it was an excellent indicator of how this day was going to play some game networked with my friend Alstan. All day he had been hiding out. He uses it to kill them, and then to the Makaha Sons concert later on that night. The whole day was wonderful. I was immersed in a culture I knew very little about, but it was still a little freaky. The next weekend I went back home, and looked up the story and found that indeed no such thing had ever happened. A little part of me still wonders if that scene had been staged by someone to scare the people they were camping with or an odd coincidence.

hey if you are bored too take this quiz that I made

Well as I have said when I am in a city and feel the wind blow by I can almost hear the rustling of the forest. Then there is my favorite part of nature, the night sky. There is nothing like a twilight lit mountain range, or a sky so clear you can see the space station. A meteor shower, or nimbus clouds dimming the moon. I love the semi decent weather. It is finally cold, even if it changed every couple years. Most of all, thank you for always telling me what a great kid I am and how proud you are of me. Thank you for teaching me how to read, and encouraging me to do math. Thank you for punishing me when I would get as the sun was setting,all I have to hand to Bush is he is great...when I asked any of Bushes supporters here in FL why they were voting for him I got two answers, one false one true. Kerry is a flip flop and abortion/gay marriage. hmmm...sounds interesting to me. OK now for the truth... Kerry was not a flip flopper. He made a few changes to the declared positions on a few issues early in the election, but that is boring, how about tales of past thanksgivings, maybe I’ll post an entry on those not associated with the competition. Then I thought of comparing the two thanksgivings that we go to, the one with my mom’s. In the end I decided to state what I am going to do with this room.  It is bigger than any room I have had it with microsoft, no more shall it stain my computer. I'll update again sometime after I finish installing it. for those who are curious it is mandrake 9.0

Well as I have said when I am in a city and feel the wind blow by I can almost hear the rustling of the forest. Then there is my favorite part of nature, the night sky. There is nothing like a twilight lit mountain range, or a sky so clear you can see the space station. A meteor shower, or nimbus clouds dimming the moon. I love the semi decent weather. It is finally cold, even if it changed every couple years. Most of all, thank you for always telling me what a great kid I am and how proud you are of me. Thank you for teaching me how to read, and encouraging me to do math. Thank you for punishing me when I would get as the sun was setting,all I have to hand to Bush is he is great...when I asked any of Bushes supporters here in FL why they were voting for him I got two answers, one false one true. Kerry is a flip flop and abortion/gay marriage. hmmm...sounds interesting to me. OK now for the truth... Kerry was not a flip flopper. He made a few changes to the declared positions on a few issues early in the election, but that is boring, how about tales of past thanksgivings, maybe I’ll post an entry on those not associated with the competition. Then I thought of comparing the two thanksgivings that we go to, the one with my mom’s. In the end I decided to state what I am going to do with this room.  It is bigger than any room I have had it with microsoft, no more shall it stain my computer. I'll update again sometime after I finish installing it. for those who are curious it is mandrake 9.0

Hey all My fiancee is trying to make LJ a better place. Please go HERE and comment with I support this nomination.

Ping

mood: chipper

I remember back to 9/11 and I have to think how many people united in defense of our country. It was a great event as people helped one another through that time of need, but with all good things bad things happened too. In the weeks following the attacks on our country I found myself confronted by a wall of accusations. I stood up for my personal freedoms, and would not say that I agreed with the misnamed Patriot Acts. I stood up to the crowd despite the fact that people were calling me unpatriotic and a bad American. I did not back down. When the time came and they were passed I still argued that they suspended many of the tenants that this country was founded on. I know the legal system is not perfect, but it has served this country well, and allowing total control of it to fall the government is completely un-American. I argued that with these documents, if the government wanted to imprison you for something all they needed was suspicion of a breach of national security, while this may have been necessary for a short time I argued that a short time where they were active needed to be implemented.

tags: lj idol

This is a topic that I have heard many LJ users comment on frequently. I do not post often, have never really needed to do a friends cut, and am not friends with that many people that I am not friends with in real life. The way I see it, if the topic is something I want to post in my LJ then I can post it there, with the same restrictions I would have in real life. There is a reason that there are the different modes on LJ; Private for things that I would vent into my pillow, or write in a journal, there is Friends only for things that I would mention while in a group of all these people, there are filters for only certain friends ( I couldn’t say this around, blah, or blah, or I could only tell this to my closest friends), and there are public, things you would stand in the middle of a park and yell to the world, or say in a crowded street or mall, things you don’t mind if just anyone hears.

I feel it is the duty of the friends on the list to say what they want to hear, and what they don’t. If you were talking to a group of friends, and one of them really was offended by or angered by a certain conversation, would you talk about that in front of them, or would you wait until some time they were not around. If your friends have a problem hearing what you are talking about chances are they will tell you, and you can take them off that filter. I see no reason to restrict your personal expression at all, just restrict who can read what it is you have written. Remember it is your LJ put in it what you want. If other people are bothered by what you write, then do not have it available for them to read.

tags: lj idol

Many of the entries I have read this week have been about people and their scars, well I am here to say openly and happily that I have but one scar. I have no story for it nor do I know where I got it, yet it remains there, a reminder that I can be harmed. This entry is not about the scar it is about all the scars I do not have.

The first scar I remember split my face up the middle, it ran from my chin to my forehead, at first, but year by year it shrunk, until it vanished. The next ran across my abdomen, this one from a wire fence I ran into, but it too faded in only a couple of years. The Third scar of note I got riding my bike through the woods. A tree dropped a branch on me and when I ran into it my arm was cut till you could see the muscle, still that scar faded in around 6 years. I have had several other knicks turned scars that have faded with time.

In addition to all these physical scars I have been left without there are the emotional ones. I was lucky in life, I had loving parents and a supportive family. When I was in middle school however I moved to small town USA. There as an indignant agnostic I was met with the worst of religion. Although I believed in god, I did and do not believe in God. For this I was branded a devil worshipper. I was ostracized from the community as a whole, and as much as I tried to make friends I never really could. I went through the middle school portion of my life friendless. This left me truly disheartened, and frequently I wondered if it was worth it to go on, but I pushed through, and after moving remembered what it was like to be part of society. Still, it left a scar that faded as time passed. The other big scar came in early college. I had been in a relationship with a girl for half a year. When I moved away we continued to date long distance. After more than three and a half years of building emotions, I was starting to wonder if she could be the girl for me. No more than a month later I found that she had cheated on me, and had started going out with him. This hit me very hard. I could not take the stress, I collapsed in on myself, and I stopped eating, and went to the gym every day, for hours. twirlandswirl guilted me into eating some pizza, but the next day I felt even worse. I went to the gym and rode the bike for 16 hours straight. I couldn’t even walk home. I had to stop four times in the quarter mile home, but I did not care. The next day on the way to class, sore I as I was I rode my bike there. On the way I got bumped by a bus, and nearly run over, but I didn’t care. This shook me out of my slump, but it would take a much longer time to heal. This scar had not healed the first time Twirl and I dated, and it would result in the failure. Even this scar would heal in time. Physical or emotional, deep or shallow, if you let your scars heal they will.

tags: lj idol

The new year will bring me many thing. As many of you doubtless know, I just got engaged on New Years Eve. My year to come will bring more of twirlandswirl into my life, since we are planning on moving in together. Also wedding planning and frequent visits to the church will be present because of this.

Also, I will also be picking up more hours at my job since I am only going to be a part time student my last semester here at UF. I can’t wait to start the rest of my life, but I am kind of sad that I will have to leave UF. In high school I was told that those would be the best years of my life, then I was told the same in college. I was really disappointed with the best years of my life in high school, but college was very different. They were fully enjoyable, and I am only hoping the rest of my life is even better.

Does anyone really know what the New Year will bring? I don’t think so, if they did they would end up rich, and while I think that it will be another fun filled year, all I really know is that no matter what happens I will go through it with my Love.

tags: lj idol

Growing up I never lived anywhere long enough to have a best friend. I always had good friends and usually a person out of those that I spent more time with than the other few. I used to listen to people tell about the friends they have had since they were three or four, and they were still friends with. I always said I was fine with it, that I was happy that I had had the chance to spend my time experiencing new things. Truth-be-told, I always wondered what it would be like to have a friend that knew me better than I knew myself, someone I could tell anything to.

Little did I know I was about to find a best friend in the most unlikely of places; before school, sitting in front of a white wall, staring down at my calculator and surrounded by three people. This is how I started every day of school. One day while sitting there, two of the other people, Holly and Doris were talking about how things were going with their boyfriends, and how much they missed them when they were away. Uncharacteristically, I decided to mention that I miss my girlfriend quite a bit too, and had not seen her in almost three months, because she lived in Minnesota ( I live and lived in Florida). After that, Doris took it upon herself to get to know me. She realizes that I wasn’t just some nerd that did nothing but school and program his calculator and computer. Over the next few weeks I spent my mornings sitting in that little cubby off the hall talking with Doris and getting to know her. We came to be very good friends over the next few years, and had a great time in the classes together. I always thought of her as a good friend, but it wasn’t until college that I began to think of her as my best friend.

That fall I had been thinking about spending more time with my girlfriend, the same one I had had for nearly four years. I talked with Doris about twice a week still, for several hours each day. Even as I lost touch with friend after friend, I continued to talk with her. I would walk around the field near my dorm as I talked about how things were going, as things got more serious with my girlfriend, I began to suspect that something was up. Eventually I found that she had been cheating on me, and after a couple of months, Doris, the good friend that I had come to have, began prodding me to find someone else to go out with. She went so far as to make on-line profiles for me on a couple of dating websites. When she showed them to me a month later I was astounded to find that I would have confused it for something I may have written. Over the next few weeks she continued to suggest I find a new girlfriend. When I finally found my Love, twirlandswirl, she gave me the push I needed to ask her out.

While this past year we have not been talking as much, we still know each other very well and mean a lot to each other, and I am proud to have a best friend, one who knows me better than I know myself.

tags: lj idol

Hey all, you know those entries you have been reading the past few weeks, well they are part of an online writing competition LJ idol. I need some help this week staying in so please vote for me, chather,here.

Living throughout the country I have heard my fair share of urban legends, but my favorite had to be one set in the wilds of whichever state urban legend. Some might call it a campfire story, but I don’t really think it qualifies at that, because the man isn’t at large any more, he is always found dead. Also, as far as I could tell the person telling the story each time thought it was true.

It is always about a man who escaped from a prison somewhere in the area ten or fifteen years ago. He ran away into the woods so that the police could not find him. Eventually, after a few weeks, surviving off the land was not enough to eat, and he decides that his best option is to turn to cannibalism. He walks into a campsite and kills all the people there. In Savannah, the man used a hook from down from an old dock house where he had been hiding out. He uses it to kill them, and then to drag them off. After the murders at the campsite the police find the man’s hideout, when they enter they find him hung from the hook by one of the rafters. In Colorado, the man shot them, and all they found was blood and the bullet casings. Several years later they found his remains in a cave, looking like he had been mauled by a bear. In Minnesota he was very tall and strong, and used a tree branch, or a saw. In both he was found beaten to death, and if he had used the saw, sawed in half.

Summer of 2000, I was walking through the woods, on a camping trip and what do I find, a rusty bow saw next to a pile of bones, missing the skull. I recognized the pile of bones as deer bones, but it was still a little freaky. The next weekend I went back home, and looked up the story and found that indeed no such thing had ever happened. A little part of me still wonders if that scene had been staged by someone to scare the people they were camping with or an odd coincidence.

tags: lj idol

For a while I struggled with this topic, should I write a list of things I am thankful for, maybe, but that is boring, how about tales of past thanksgivings, maybe I’ll post an entry on those not associated with the competition. Then I thought of telling about one of the down time in my life, when every day we used to sit around the dinner table and before we could eat we would have to say 2 things we were thankful for. Then I thought of comparing the two thanksgivings that we go to, the one with my dad’s parents and the one with my mom’s. In the end I decided to state what I am most thankful for.

I am in college and I have a loving, wonderful girlfriend. Though I have a bit of a cold now, I am generally healthy. More-so, I have friends and family that truly care, and for this week that is what I am going to whom I will give thanks.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you both very much and as a kid I know I was kind of distant from you guys. I took all your love and care for granted, mostly because it was. I knew in my heart that no matter what I did or how I turned out you guys would love me. I know a lot of the time I wasn’t the easiest person to be around. I usually thought I was smarter than I was, and fought you when all you were doing was looking out for my own good. Thanks for not giving up on me Mom and Dad. Being up here at college, and talking with other people I realize just how good I had it. Thank you for caring for me when I would get scrapes as a kid. Thank you for teaching me how to read, and encouraging me to do math. Thank you for supporting me in whatever I tried to do. Giving me rides to go places, as well as becoming involved. Thanks for teaching me to hold my commitments and not give up. Thanks for staying involved with my school. I know I always used to yell at you when you would tell me to do my homework before the last minute, but thanks for never stopping. Thanks for giving me my space when I needed it to. Thank you for punishing me when I misbehaved, and not letting up because it was easier. Thank you for telling me not to do drugs, the once I was asked the only answer I could think to give was no. Thank you for giving me a roof to live under, even if it changed every couple years. Most of all, thank you for always telling me what a great kid I am and how proud you are of me. Thank you for being the best parents you could be I truly appreciate it.

Love,
Your Son, Paul

P.S. I will miss you at thanksgiving this year.

tags: lj idol

What terrifies me? This topic took a great bit of thinking. I think that I have only been terrified once in my life. I was 17 and walking back to my tent after a pretty long day working at La-No-Che. On the way back I passed a rabid raccoon. He ran toward me and survived a nail going into its head, and still kept coming toward me. It was the only time that I was scarred for myself, but I would not say that raccoons terrify me. I have seen a bear up close, as well as mountain lions, and during none of those was I ever terrified.

When I was still in high school, giving speeches to the class terrified me, but not really anymore. Whenever I would go to speak it was a coin flip if sound would come out or if I would freeze, unable to speak or move, but in recent times I have gotten over that too. I still don’t like it, but it doesn’t terrify me anymore.

I guess the only thing that I could say terrifies me right now would be losing a loved one, and not being able to do anything about it, like in a car crash, or from a disease, or from anything else that I cannot prevent. Nothing scares me more than the image of a loved one lying on a bed dying, while I stand there, unable to help them.

tags: lj idol

Well I got to thinking a lot about my childhood now, and all-in-all it was a very good one. I had many great experiences, but the one that has to stand out as my favorite is the first time I went skiing.

When I was in middle school my family moved out to Colorado. The school there was a Mon -Thurs school, with a little extra time each day. This was so that people could help out around the farm. Well for those of us who's parents were in other lines of work went on ski trips on the Fridays during winter.

The first Friday was was nervous to go. My mom never liked it much ever since she had become injured skiing as a kid, and I was afraid that I would get hurt too. Things turned out far differently. I picked up skiing very quickly, and be the end of the day I had skied down every green in the resort. It was amazing. I grew to love that feeling of the wind blowing by my face as I sped down the hill, the feeling of control at such high speeds. Just the way it is so easy to separate from the world around me. It would seem like whenever a problem was coming up, and was far behind me before I could think about it. I just loved the feeling of absolute freedom it gave me.

tags: lj idol

Hey, I am a college Student at the University of Florida. I am majoring in Zoology, am and currently in my senior year. I plan on graduating at the end of summer, and getting a job with the National Forest Service or the Department of Fish and Wildlife. I did Circle K for my first two years, but my schedule has not let me do much with them since then. I have done some things with other clubs and groups, but none of them ever seemed me. Well that is what my resume would say anyway.

If you really want to know about me the best way is to ask my friends, but I’ll try and tell you all a bit about me now. I am 21, and having the time of my life. Things just seem to be going great for me. I talk with my parents and sister now and then, I have a few friends that I have had for more that 3 years. I have a wonderful girlfriend, and enjoy spending time with her. I am employed at subway, the sandwich shop, not the underground kind (you’d be surprised how often I am asked that even though I live in Florida. If you dig down 15 feet you have a swimming pool).

I was rereading that paragraph and it made me seem kind of pathetic. I mean, what kind of person does not keep friends for more than 3 years. Well a big part of that is that I never stay in one place for that long. Currently I have spent more time living here than I have anywhere else in my life, and truth be told, I am not really sure what “settling down” feels like, because I know I’ll just be gone from here in another year. A lot of people assume that I would hate moving around so much, but it was great. I mean sure I had to make new friends every time I moved, and get used to a new school and all that kind of thing, but I also got to do the most amazing things. I learned how to ski in Colorado, and learned how to SCUBA in Florida. I also went snow shoeing in Minnesota, where I got to ice skate on my lawn. I learned how to water ski too. I still want to learn how to surf at some point. I do not think I would really enjoy it, but like snowboarding I want to try it. Plus not everything was different Boy scouts was a staple in my life wherever I went. I achieved the rank of Eagle, and spent a number of summers teaching a summer camp, La-No-Che.

Hmmm… I am trying to think if I have forgotten anything, and I am sure I have. I guess you’ll just have to wait until another topic reminds me of it. Oh yeah, how could I forget about my geek nature. I love computers, gaming, sci-fi, and most things geek.

tags: lj idol

Well Season 4 of LJ idol is here, and I will be participating. Maybe I will finish those season three ones eventually.

tags: lj idol